My mate Joe's a Burglar,
He burgles houses everywhere he goes,
You'll never meet a fella that is uglier,
With his big red face and big fat boxers nose,

(da, da, da)

But under that very tough exterior,
Lies a little cheeky monkey heaven knows!
For when he's filled his bag with all your valuables,
He takes a dump on the rug before he goes!